this was my home

, originally uploaded by devon sioui.

why are we all so angry
with eachother and why
am i berated when i sweep it under
everything should be swept under
in my mind
especially in this parallel universe
where we all think we know each other so well
i've never pretended to know you well
but you've taken what you like about me
ignored the things you don't
shaped what you can
and appointed me
as your right wing
even when i think i am enjoying myself
i am worried about who i might be hurting
and if i am not hurting anyone
i will make believe i am
and i am amazed how anyone
would want to seek out any
more anguish
as if any more exists

no more sleeping for you
none yet for me
plugged ears ruffled movement
she laid down beside me, for once
words
words
words
stupid covers for stupid feelings
stupid blankets bunched
too small a bed for you & i
they'd be happy if they saw this.

i hate you when i feel this way
knowing you hate me too.

this always happens before we part.

you heard me;
you did not care.

now she's with you.

he sleeps
i sleep
she dreams of
samways
he sleeps
i sleep
but we don't sleep
together
she doesn't sleep
often
but her nights are productive
he sleeps steadily -8 hour nights-
his days are productive
i can be productive
a few hours at a time
but i can't if i must
do any
thing
but
think
about
being
productive

what is that called
what is it called
home
home?
home.
home.
home.
that word.
home.
home.
i am home.
not here,
but i am
home.
and i am
going
home
but i am home
and he is home
but without him is it
home
yes
i am home
only i am home
nice to meet you.