i have no words but cats'
so theres no point
really

i really wish
we could be better
be the one next to him
the one i go to without
thought
without worry
with unannounced beauty
of our bind
i had that once
but it was always there
she's gone now too
and doesn't remember
being here
(i don't really remember it either).
i really wish
i could be better
at keeping ties
nurturing your hand
your heart
i know i only do it
when i'm looking
for something too.
i really wish
we could just be here
now
not tomorrow
or then
but now
then again
maybe we are

april 5

things have been good
for me
like stars are aligning
i wonder if its from
the result of
any good doings or if it
means i'm in for some
bad
depending on the day
i guess
its one or the other
today is her day
as it has been
for the last 77 years
its time for the ode
(to LA) and
i wonder if he thinks of her
or if it hurts too much
it hurts me too much
to say her name
often
and i knew her
the least