leaf heart (the epitome of bittersweet)

She said it was just a song, and then I was in her head. It's just a song, but it was much more than that. Its so you. She couldn't possibly realize how much that means. The song clicks and claps and switches and chants and I want to dance. The words are sad, just like the words have been sad before; but accompanied by an enlightening feeling. The kind that makes you want to stare up at the sun in the summertime and just think about how pretty the world is. The kind of feeling that evokes the urge to dance. The kind we have felt together so many times before. I feel so much for her, because I don't ever have to try. What she enjoys about me are the things that bother me. I have had a small handful of these people in my life but never more than one at a time. She loves me. I have no idea why, but if I had to guess, it would have to attribute to the feeling we have shared so many times before. The way we hear things. Sitting on a beach, tears streaming down her face, staring at the open water with a blissful smile smeared across her face. Sharing stories of her father, speaking with such wonder and understanding. With awe, speaking of loss from the other end. Embracing everything we have. As she spoke I looked around to everyone else. Some sat sobbing, others at attention of her words. He was most mesmerizing. I have never seen such a look on his face before. Never seen him so moved by something he couldn't touch himself; something entirely objective to him. I watched them and I listened, writing letters I knew I would never send. Everything is feeling no matter what caused it. Part of him is on that island now. I felt like I could feel him, and I had never seen him before then. As she spread the last of him she would ever touch, she said, This is the last time, and let out a wail of such pain and loss, something I knew (that we all knew) we would someday be feeling ourselves. The leaves formed a heart. We didn't see it until it was all over, but when it was over, we had never felt so alive. We danced in the sand and screamed out our joy. It was as if saying goodbye with her had set us all free.